Experts Agree: Let Them Eat Dinner Flakes!

They care, they really do. That's why they make delicious cereal for you to have for dinner.

Sorry poor people, looks like it’s Flakes and Chlormequat Clusters for dinner!

Hey, cereal for dinner might even help you avoid Planned Parenthood.

Gotta love two things at once.

Gary Pilnick was speaking live on CNBC’s Squawk on the Street on 21 February when he delivered the remarks in question, which some have compared to the “let them eat cake” phrase frequently attributed without evidence to Marie Antoinette before her execution during the French Revolution.

“The cereal category has always been quite affordable, and it tends to be a great destination when consumers are under pressure,” Pilnick said amid a discussion about high grocery prices. “If you think about the cost of cereal for a family versus what they might otherwise do, that’s going to be much more affordable.”

The CNBC host Carl Quintanilla asked Pilnick – whose company’s brands include Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, Corn Pops and Rice Krispies – whether his remarks could “land the wrong way” with consumers who have been forced to spend about 26% more on groceries in general since 2020.

Pilnick doubled down, saying: “In fact, it’s landing really well right now. Cereal for dinner is something that is probably more on trend now, and we would expect [it] to continue as that consumer is under pressure.”

That message has not actually landed that well with everyone who has heard it.

I wonder what kind of cereal Gary has for dinner….

Probably Golden Grahams.

Each of WK Kellogg named executive officers will have the following base salary rates, target annual incentive plan (“AIP”) opportunity and target annual long-term incentive (“LTI”) opportunity, effective as of the Distribution Date: (i) for Gary Pilnick, $1,000,000 annual base salary, $1,100,000 target AIP and $3,300,000 target annual LTI;

The good news is cereal is heavy-marketed to children and their super plastic brains. That helps lock them in for life. Especially if they are eating it for breakfast and dinner.

Report reveals cereal companies' marketing strategies

Among the biggest marketing campaigns towards children food products is cereal. Obviously not the bran, oat, or corn flakes varieties, but those pre-sweetened cereals like, Cocoa Puffs, Froot Loops, or Honey Smacks.

As far as how many boxes of sugary cereals were sold to parents and children in 2011, Kellogg's Froot Loops made $162,182,800, Kellogg's Frosted Flakes made $267,170,500 in profit, and General Mills Honey Nut Cheerios pulled in $357,013,600 last year. Talk about a lot of sugar being passed on to children, sheesh!

In 2008, when researchers last studied cereal companies and their efforts to target children, preschoolers were exposed to an average of 635 cereal ads in that one year, which breaks down to 1.7 cereal commercials per day.

The Sticky Methods Of Marketing Cereal To Kids

The participants' trust in the brand was 16% higher, and their feelings of connectivity to the brand 28% higher, when the rabbit appeared to make eye contact with them. The participants also said they actually liked the cereal better, in comparison to another type, when the rabbit looked right at them.

Welp…at least cereal is healthy.

And full of wholesome ingredients.

• Chlormequat — a chemical that's been linked to reproductive and fertility issues in animal tests — has been found in oat-based products like Cheerios and Quaker Oats.

• The chemical has been banned for use on edible plants in the United States, but in 2018, the Environmental Protection Agency began allowing plants treated with chlormequat to be imported.

• "All our products adhere to all regulatory requirements," said Mollie Wulff, a spokesperson for General Mills, which manufactures Cheerios. Quaker Foods said in a statement, "At Quaker, we stand by the safety and quality of our products."

EWG investigation: Dangerous agricultural chemical chlormequat found in popular oat-based products

Studies published in the past several years showed that exposure to chlormequat in laboratory animals disrupts fetal growth, changing development of the head and bones and altering key metabolic processes. Other studies of laboratory animals found that chlormequat exposure during pregnancy could delay development during puberty and cause changes in sperm motility later in life. Another study found chlormequat could decrease the amount of testosterone produced. 

If you think that sounds concerning, you’re wrong. And you should stop sensationalizing stuff.

Don’t fret, Korin Miller from Women’s Health Magazine says it NO BIG DEAL.

Eat up, useless eaters!

No, Eating Cheerios Won’t Give You Fertility Issues, Despite Recent Study Reports

Go ahead and pour yourself a bowl.

BY KORIN MILLER PUBLISHED: FEB 20, 2024 5:23 PM EST

You may have been tempted to toss your box of Cheerios after seeing the recent reports that the cereal—along with Quaker Oats—contain a banned chemical that's linked to infertility. But, here's why you should take a beat before completely changing up your breakfast diet.

"This should have no impact on your day-to-day choices," Chavez tells his followers in a recent Instagram video. "This is another prime example of the media sensationalizing the topic of nutrition and confusing the general public."

::Shakes fist::

Dammit you nutrition sensationalizers!!! Getting the general public all confused and thinking that what they eat might effect their health. Assholes.

Just feed your kids the sperm killing sugar puffs, OKAAAAY!?!?!?

I mean, if they get fat, there’s always Kidzempic.

By the way, Women’s Health Magazine is owned by Hearst Communications, Inc.

Here’s some interesting Spookipedia info on Hearst’s history:

Following Adolf Hitler's rise to power in Germany, the Nazis received positive press coverage by Hearst presses and paid ten times the standard subscription rate for the INS wire service belonging to Hearst.^[23] William Randolph Hearst personally instructed his reporters in Germany to only give positive coverage to Hitler and the Nazis, and fired journalists who refused to write stories favourable of German fascism.^[23] During this time, high ranking Nazis were given space to write articles in Hearst press newspapers, including Hermann Göring and Alfred Rosenberg.^[23]

Moving on…

You know I couldn’t finish this post without mentioning this about Kellogg 😂

When Corn Flakes Were Part of an Anti-Masturbation Crusade

You read that correctly.

But while he hated masturbation, Kellogg LOVED eugenics. Nothing says get your hand out of your pants and stay away from the undesirables, like a bowl of cold wet cereal.

Kellogg edited Good Health, the church’s magazine promoting Adventist beliefs in healthy living, such as adopting a vegetarian diet; abstaining from alcohol, tobacco, and caffeine; and getting plenty of fresh air and exercise. (Unfortunately, the magazine under Kellogg’s leadership espoused eugenics and outdated anthropological notions as well.)

Kellogg’s solution to all this suffering was a healthy diet. He thought that meat and certain flavorful or seasoned foods increased sexual desire, and that plainer food, especially cereals and nuts, could curb it.

Anywho…Experts agree, cereal is healthy AF. Let’s check out what health expert, Brierley has to say:

Why This Nutritionist Is OK With Her Kids Eating Lucky Charms

Should this frosted oat cereal with marshmallows be mom-approved?

Brierley Horton, M.S., RD; September 17, 2019

Brierley is a dietitian nutritionist, content creator and strategist, and avid mental health advocate. She is co-host and co-creator of the Happy Eating Podcast, a podcast that breaks down the connection between food and mental wellness. Brierley previously served as Food & Nutrition Director for Cooking Light magazine and the Nutrition Editor at EatingWell magazine. She holds a master's degree in Nutrition Communications from the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy at Tufts University. Her work has appeared in Better Homes & Gardens, Southern Living, Real Simple, Livestrong.com, TheKitchn and more.

Brierley’s not the only one.

“There is no rule that says you can’t have cereal for dinner,” Katherine Shary, a registered dietitian at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, tells TODAY.com.

“There’s nothing wrong with having cereal for lunch or dinner.”

SHEEEIT…why eat anything else?!?!

#CerealForLIFE

Maybe they can just start making mRNA Puffs and get it all done at once.