Just when you thought Pfizer/FDA standards couldn't get any higher...
Quality science. Quality everything.
Y’all. I have got some REALLY exciting news.
But before I tell you, please read this post in the style of Rochelle Walensky’s voice when she announced that the jabs would be available for babies. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check it out and really get it locked in.
Hear that excitement?
Ok…here it is (drumroll, please)…
After all of this waiting, I think I have finally decided to take the jab.
Although Pfizer’s initial clinical trials were compelling for many reasons, starting with the reluctance to share the findings (I mean, if you consider asking for 75 years to be reluctant), I held out. Luckily the FOIA (Freedom Of Information Act) Request inspired them to stop being so bashful about their exciting results. From the 11 pages of (single spaced microscopic font) listing the fun potential side effects, to the missing data on outcomes of some 238 pregnancies during the trial, Pfizer brought their A-GAME.
One might think that Pfizer would’ve gotten discouraged over these past couple of years. Like when the jabs started showing negative efficacy, or when all cause mortality began sky rocketing. Or when their CEO embarrassingly had to do the jab-of-shame tweet:
Get discouraged?? Is that what winner’s do?
No way!
You know what I always tell my kids? You either win or you learn. And Pfizer is such a shining example of this. They got learned up so good (just like my grammar there).
They learned that you don’t NEED silly HUMAN trials. And the number of participants is just, like, not necessary for statistical relevance. All those participants just totally clog stuff up, and create like, more data. DUH. Why has no one realized this????
Back to my exciting news. I have finally decided to take the jab because they came in super strong with the coveted 8 MICE STUDY. That’s right folks, 8. Why mess around with more? 8 is a flipping GREAT number. Here are some reasons to use 8 rodents in a study:
Super 8 is a successful hotel chain. Just ask the rodents.
Billy Eilish wrote a song about it.
It falls between 7 and 9.
It is the atomic number of the most important gas in our life (oxygen).
It’s the largest cube number in the Fibonacci series.
Magic 8 ball told them to do it.
8oz = 236.5882375ml
8 rhymes with GREAT and Mate! And mice love to mate.
I know the anticipation is probably killing you, so I won’t wait any longer. Check out the slides from their presentation HERE.
Big shout out to Steve Kirsch and Igor Chudov for checking into all the excitement, see below (squeal!).
Listen to how exciting this 8 MOUSE STUDY is (reposted from Igor):
You can see that the antibody titers for the Ba.5 booster, against Ba.5 variant, are all over the place! One mouse had a titer of 300 (a bit less actually), two more had titers of 700, two more had a titer of 1,500, one had a titer of 3,000, one had a titer of 7,000, and the last one had a titer of 22,000!
So, the 8 Pfizer standardized Balb/c mice, quite identical and reacting identically at producing Wuhan antibodies, reacted WILDLY DIFFERENTLY when producing Ba5 antibodies!!! One of them had an immune reaction producing 300 antibody titers, while another similar mouse produced 73 times more antibodies, or 22,000 titers!
Did the mouse who got a 73 times greater immune reaction, feel sicker? Did the mouse who got a 33 times lower reaction, get no protection from Ba.5 variant? Pfizer is not sharing that.
It is CLEARLY OBVIOUS at this point why I am going ALL IN on the jabs! I’m going to have a JAB-A-THON! How can I not?
I’m about to do a VACCICANE (that’s a vaccine hurricane - like one of those crazy college bar drinks).
I think I’ll see if I can get my hands on one of those legacy J & J shots, and then do a Pfizer-Moderna tag team double shot, followed by a Pfizer-8-Mouse chaser.
WOOT WOOT!!
What am I looking most forward to in my glamorous new Fauci-Ouchie life?
I mean there are SO MANY possibilities…
Although all of the possibilities are AMAZING, I’m pretty sure I am most excited about getting quintet-vaccinated-covid, changing my profile frame, and posting on social media about my mild symptoms and how grateful I am to be vaccinated.
BRING ON THE 8-MICE-BOOSTER SHOTS!!!
Cheers!
She's got her human face on here. On most Clips I'm seeing it slip off and her lizard scales showing.
Gleefully watching stats to see all cause spike with lots of excess death. She probably asks her psycho mates to refer to her as Miss Carriage.